Admittance
by caffeineaddict13
Summary: 8. If she had chosen him, he would have kept her warm. Plus many other things they never said out loud. Bella/Jake
1. 1

**A/N: **Here it is: my Twilight version of Confessions, Bella/Jacob style. Should have five parts to it, alternating POV's. If you didn't know, it's basically all the things Bella and Jacob have been hiding. This one's Bella-centric. R&R.

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1. Sometimes, she would play with fire.

2. Just to feel like he was around.

3. She liked to think that _my Jacob_ was just a way to remember him…

4. …but really, it was all that she had left.

5. She didn't think that anyone saw the notes she wrote him.

6. She wished that she would mail them.

7. If she had chosen him, she wouldn't have to.

8. If she had chosen him, he would have kept her warm.

9. If she had chosen him, he would have made her happy.

10. Even though she could never say it, she thought that he was beautiful.

11. She liked to think that she liked the color brown because it was _warm_…

12. …but really, it was because it matched his skin.

13. Once, Alice asked her if she would come with her to get her car fixed.

14. She said no.

15. She didn't admit that she hated mechanics.

16. She didn't admit that she hated them because of _him_.

17. Part of her knew that he always thought she looked good in green.

18. She thinks that's partly why she wears it so much.

19. She never told anyone, but she went out on the motorcycle by herself once.

20. She gave it away.

21. Because there were some things that never stayed the same.

22. She liked to think that she stayed in Forks because she missed Charlie…

23. …but really, she was praying that he would come back.

24. She had a bruise on her hip from riding with him that never completely healed.

25. She kind of liked it there.

26. Ironically, both their secrets involved monsters.

27. Ironically, hers was deeper.

28. Ironically, hers was love.

29. Part of the reason she liked the beach so much was that it reminded her of him.

30. All the reasons she found to support her not being with him was stupid.

31. Even Alice said so.

32. She liked to think that you couldn't miss someone you didn't love so much…

33. …but the tightening in her chest told her differently.

34. She was dying, quickly.

35. And she sort of wished he was around to save her.

--

**TBC**


	2. 2

**A/N:** Jake-centric second chapter. Enjoy. I actually like it a lot better than the first one.

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1. He thought her eyes were the warmest things he had ever seen.

2. He searched through her bookshelf and bought every book that was there.

3. Just so he could have a reason to talk to her.

4. He wouldn't have hurt her, even if he hadn't promised.

5. He liked to think that he kissed her to make her love him…

6. …but really, he just wanted to know what it was like.

7. He was glad Charlie and Billy were friends.

8. Because at least then, he had _something _over the leech.

9. He always called back.

10. He always did to hear her.

11. He always let out a breath when she answered.

12. If she hadn't, he would know that she was gone.

13. He knew he wasn't good enough.

14. Because to him, she was perfect.

15. He liked to think he wouldn't tell her because it was dangerous…

16. …but really, he was afraid she would be scared.

17. He liked that she held his hand.

18. If he couldn't fix the bike, he would have pretended to, anyway, just to be with her.

19. They had three spots that were _theirs_.

20. One was First Beach.

21. One was his garage.

22. The other was inside that little tent.

23. He didn't really mind being younger.

24. He thought her clumsiness was cute.

25. He liked to think that he wanted to imprint…

26. …but really, he was afraid that maybe he would.

27. He was scared that the Edward Cullen would return.

28. He was scared that she'd go back to being broken.

29. He was scared that she'd go back because of him.

30. He didn't realize that he was the one that fixed her.

31. He would do anything to hear her laugh.

32. He knew that he had fallen.

33. Sometimes, he found himself running around, looking for _him_.

34. He didn't lie when he said he loved her.

35. He was just scared that he'd never let go.

--

**TBC**


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